


Beyond The Veil

by LokiNeedsHugs1031



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Crying, Crying Castiel (Supernatural), Crying Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I'm fixing this fucking shit, M/M, Men Crying, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon Fix-It, Season15Episode18, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiNeedsHugs1031/pseuds/LokiNeedsHugs1031
Summary: Dean and Cas find each other. FIX IT FIC.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	Beyond The Veil

**Author's Note:**

> I need it FIXED and here it is. Thank you.

Darkness.

Nothing but darkness.

Castiel, angel of the Lord reduced to this.

Darkness.

There was a voice. Murmuring. In the distance. Beckoning and desperate.

He couldn’t lift his head let alone open his eyes.

He could hear the Darkness shouting warnings but he remained still and motionless, still against the ground.

The Darkness was angry, in every respect, but he still couldn’t open his eyes. There were arms around him and a sharp blade to his throat, that much he knew.

“You don’t get to keep him.” He heard a growling voice. “He’s ours. He’s mine.”

“Get out of here I don’t care I only want to sleep!” the booming voice replied.

Then nothing.

“Cas….Cas can you hear me? Sweetheart you hear me? I’m here….I’m right here please come back to me I know it hurts but please come back to me.”

It was like a shout down an empty hallway, his head hurt, it was pounding, and his limbs felt like lead.

He groaned, willing his limbs to move forward and attack something, anything, to stop the hurt.

“It hurts…” he whimpered. Well, this was Hell, he guessed, he’d bypassed The Empty and made it to Hell. He deserved this didn’t he? After all he’d done. And then he thought of Dean and his throat seized up and despite being dead or whatever this existence was he was crying. “Dean…I’m sorry…”

“Oh, Cas, there you are,” Dean’s voice arrived above the veil of his consciousness, “There you are, fuck, fuck, you’re okay? Are you okay?”

Cas grappled with reality, his hands reaching forward, if he was going to have a hallucination, he was going to do it right. He cupped both hands around his beloved’s face as he was crying without control. “You’re not really here….”

Dean’s eyes were tearing, watering, and his chest was heaving as he pressed his forehead to Cas’s. “Castiel. You’re here. Oh my God. Jack did it I didn’t think it was possible oh fuck.” his sob was like an echo. A siren. A bullhorn into an empty hall. “Sweetheart, I’m right here come back to me. Please. I’ll give you everything you want if I can. I hate myself for making you think you had to give yourself up.”

“Dean,” Cas gasped, coughed, his body feeling heavy. Human. He felt human. “Where are we?”

“The Bunker. Jack did this I begged him I’m not even gonna lie I begged him to bring you back in any way possible. I can’t see a Heaven or Earth without you, you hear me? Cas? You hear me?”

Cas’s hearing was indeed muffled but he blinked a few times to clear his vision and came upon the teary-eyed picture of Dean Winchester. Broken. Willing. Hoping. “You didn’t give up on me?’ 

“Cas…” Dean sobbed, “I hate that you would even think that oh my God.” His head fell forward, flush against the sheets that Cas now realized he was lying against. He was aware of Dean’s hand threading his fingers threaded tight to the point of almost painful. “I thought I was gone. Forever…” Cas couldn’t help the pain eating in his chest, “I was without you where were you? Why did it take this much pain Dean? I need you I needed you.”

Dean’s bright green eyes reappeared, and both his rough hands took Cas’ face carefully, “I am a stupid bastard. I hate myself. You get that Castiel? I should have said I loved you years ago and it took this catastrophe to make me realize. When you….when you gave yourself up to the Empty I couldn’t deal with anything. Life. Death. Nothing. I love you. I love you, you hear me? I love you and I hate myself for ever making you think I didn’t. It wasn’t a brother thing or even a family thing I love you like you are my soul mate because you are. You’re my soulmate.”

Cas felt light. Enveloped in warmth as he closed his eyes and embraced his human. Jack had allowed them this. He had seen it as easily as Sam had. How much they loved each other in every way possible.

“I don’t ever want to let you go.” Dean sobbed, his tears blatant and horrible against his cheeks. Hot and never ending. “Cas, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry. If I could do it again. If I could do it all again when you came to the bunker human and desperate if it hadn’t been all fucked up, you know what I would have done?”

Cas balanced on the balls of his feet and he felt his eyes begin to burn, “What Dean, what, because that was a bad time. It was the worst time in my existence.”

Dean gasped, swallowing down a sob, “I would have scooped you up like a goddamn bride and taken you to my room. Cleaned you up, fed you, made you feel safe. I hate that I didn’t do that. I hate that I didn’t make you feel safe. I should have done that and I will never forgive myself for doing that. And here you are again giving yourself up. Admitting you love me and I just stood there like an idiot.” The tears fell down like rain. Acid rain.

Castiel watched his fellow human fall apart. Dean was bent at the waist, hands on his knees, and without control he moved forward and gathered Dean up into his arms. “I know why you did what you did. Dean, please, breathe.”

“I did what I did and it hurt you. All of it hurt you! You said I love you and I didn’t say it back because I was in shock. How could someone so beautiful, so pure love me?” Dean cried, “There was no way. No way you actually loved me, you were only trying to save me. That’s it. That’s all.”

“Dean,” Cas scolded, no, he growled, “I love you. I didn’t say it just for the moment. It’s not a celestial thing, nor is it a thing that only angel’s understand. I love you as a human does. I love you. I want forever with you. I never want to be without you, do you understand that? I never, ever, want to be without you. I want to be your heaven.”

Dean collapsed into Cas’s arms, “I’m so sorry Cas. I love you too. I don’t care what happens with Chuck. I need you to know that. I need you to know that!”

Castiel took a breath, a very human breath and kissed Dean’s brow, his cheek, his throat and then his lips. “I need you to breathe. We are here. Together. That is all that matters. Do you understand? That is all that matters.”

“I made you human please don’t hate me,” Dean lamented, his cries becoming louder and louder.

“If I’m with you, human, I don’t care what I am.” Cas retorted, his grip becoming firmer, “Dean, look at me.” he was met with resistance. “No, I want you to look at me.”

Green eyes, wet and leaking locked onto his blue and Dean was already speaking, “I couldn’t do without you. I could only have you if you were human I’m so sorry Cas. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do without you. I love you so much.”

Cas silenced him with a kiss, biting his bottom lip with emphasis, nuzzling down against his throat as his human held him close. “I said I want to be with you. I don’t care in what form or vice. I want to be with you. I love you.”

Dean groaned and held tightly.

“You are beautiful. You are beautiful and you are mine.” Castiel breathed, “I want to grow old with you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“I didn’t think about it.” Dean sighed, his exhaustion apparent. “But I want that too I want all of it. You and me…Sam…I don’t need anything else.”

“I never needed God to tell me what I wanted Dean. The moment I touched you in Hell I knew you were mine. And I haven’t one regret.”

Dean turned his head upwards, kissing the corner of Cas’s jaw, “I never regretted it either.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave reviews darlings.


End file.
